Election 2109: Touch a passing bum.....

Elections often end with a bang This  one certainly needs to if we’re to have a government -any government-that can govern.But they can begin with a whimper. This has. As usual it’s a tuning up as the parties struggle to find a note that will reverberate with the electorate. Brexit hasn’t. Things have gone quiet on the Brexit front (except for me) either because people are fed up or they’ve made their minds up.So trivia has taken over. 

That means dirt bags emptied over parties and  politicians to damage them before the electorate does. Everyone with a grumble or a grievance-and they’re more numerous than ever because of Brexit and austerity-is turning up the volume in the hope that someone will listen.Character assassination of leaders pours out, Blairites praise Labour with faint damns, MPs who feel their genius has never been recognised by their party denounce it and the chattering classes poodle  away on their endless i pads

This is the fun stage before the long drawn out campaign turns it to boredom.“The dog  star rages nay the fools be out”.  I can’t remember an election which has begun with such a shower of shit. The media and the parties unload the dirt bags they all keep for use at election time. Deserters denounce the leadership and policies of their parties. Others quit for mysterious reasons, Blairites denounce Corbanistas,  Remainers mutter about Boris and though I haven’t heard a Liberal complaining about Princess Swinson no one seems ecstatically happy with her while ne’er do wells and malcontents from both parties  flow to the Liberals creatiing the impression that it’s a dustbin not a party.

Then  sex allegations are being thrown in to boost the fun. Anyone who’s touched a passing bum accidentally or with  malice aforethought is being  exposed and forced to do the decent thing a difficult decision in our dirty politics  Allegations  are more numerous than ever as political correctness  becomes a  religion. Miners’ welfare jokes which politicians told  years ago have become fatal.

Finally there’s the internet. Twitter bulges with party claims, abuse, fantasy and endless selfies of canvas groups who’re doing more posing than canvassing but  look wet. I normally look at the internet for a quick catch up on the issues of the day.Now its a screaming bedlam, a political lunatic asylum and more like sorting through a dustbin than seeking information or humour

Don’t worry. It’s all ephemera to be forgotten tomorrow. It will have little impact on electors, most of whom have already made  their minds up. Candidate abuse, whether its interesting or sexual matters less because the fight is a national one. Even the obsession with throwing dirt at leaders  fails because most people have decided whether they like or dislike Boris, or Jeremy. In fact none of this fuss has an impact on the general population. Its a game played for and by the political enthusiasts who are perhaps 2% of the population which never reaches most voters. All the research indicates that the thing most likely to influence voters is a human contact with the parties .Party membership has shrunk too far to provide that.

We normal dimwits  should ignore the whole brouhaha. So far as we’re concerned the only interesting trend to emerge in these rowdy early days is that no one is preaching austerity, the dangers of debt or the need for financial discipline. These have been the main theme of the last four elections. Now all that nonsense has  been dumped by  Labour and the Tories, leaving the Liberals behind, grumbling about overspending.

That’s because the two major parties have at long last realised the folly of austerity and the damage it has done to everything from investment to growth and our starved public services. It’s been a long and difficult learning process but the money spigots are now being turned on. Experience has taught both parties  that punishing the people and  being more masochistic than the other isn’t a winning policy. The shock the Brexit vote gave to the political establishment may not have produced Brexit. But at least it has saved the economy by scaring the politicians .Thank God.